[RING RING... RING RING...]
KAREN: What?
SANDRA: Hi there! My name is Sandra, I'm calling from Solar Communications about the fiber internet inquiry.
KAREN: Who's asking?
SANDRA: I completely understand your frustration. You've had a difficult experience with your current provider.
KAREN: That's what they all say.
SANDRA: I am definitely not them. I have eleven years of experience in this industry.
KAREN: Fine. Two questions. Why do you need my social security number?
SANDRA: It just helps us verify your identity. We can work around that.
KAREN: And before you ask, yes, I've tried resetting the router.
SANDRA: I was going to ask if you've considered that your current internet might be affecting your mood.
KAREN: Everything is affecting my mood, Sandra.
SANDRA: Well, fiber internet could help with that. It's faster, more reliable, and we have local technicians.
KAREN: How much?
SANDRA: I'm going to be completely transparent with you.
KAREN: Everything takes longer than they say it will.
SANDRA: Karen, I have eleven years of experience. I know what I'm doing.
KAREN: That's fair. I'm just saying, I've heard it all before.
SANDRA: You called us, remember?
KAREN: I call everyone. It's called comparison shopping.
SANDRA: Local, right? Actually, yes. Our technicians are local.
KAREN: My neighbor had to take a whole day off work.
SANDRA: I can assure you, we work around your schedule.
KAREN: You can't promise that.
SANDRA: I can promise you this: we will be there when we say we will.
KAREN: Eleven years. And a router that blinks for no reason.
SANDRA: Karen, here's what I'm going to do for you.
KAREN: And if I don't like it?
SANDRA: Then I thank you for your time and wish you the best.
KAREN: What about the installation fee?
SANDRA: There will be no installation fee. I promise you.
KAREN: You seem very sure of yourself.
SANDRA: I am extremely sure of myself.
KAREN: Fine. Nine o'clock. Thursday is acceptable.
SANDRA: Wonderful. I'm going to send you a confirmation email.
KAREN: They better not be late. And if there's any funny business—
SANDRA: Karen, I promise you, on my eleven years of experience, we will take care of you.
KAREN: You know what? Don't push it.
SANDRA: Thank you for choosing Solar Communications.
KAREN: I'm going to love complaining about you online.
SANDRA: That counts as engagement.
KAREN: Mm, don't push it.
[CALL ENDS]

[RING RING... RING RING...]
DAVE: Yeah?
MARCUS: Hi there! My name is Marcus, I'm calling from Solar Communications.
DAVE: Depends. Who's asking?
MARCUS: It's a yes! So Thursday works for you?
DAVE: Thursday works. I'd rather not say.
MARCUS: That's correct? Marketing list?
DAVE: Right, list. Tell them Dave sent you.
MARCUS: Will pass that along.
DAVE: Good talk. Stay vigilant.
MARCUS: You too.
DAVE: Because that's what they want you to think. That's a very simplistic view, Marcus.
MARCUS: Thank you?
DAVE: They've been planning this for years. Underground. The cables.
MARCUS: That would be quite the conspiracy.
DAVE: Or it's something else entirely. Sensors, Marcus. They're installing sensors.
MARCUS: That is... not accurate.
DAVE: It's not theory. It's fact. Look at the size of those cable spools.
MARCUS: The cable spools are standard size.
DAVE: Suspiciously large, you mean. Suspiciously large spools.
MARCUS: If the government wanted to spy on you—why would they choose you?
DAVE: That's either insulting or terrifying. How do you know I'm not important?
MARCUS: Because I'm looking at your account.
DAVE: That's fair. But fiber means they can monitor everything. Cable control. Data collection.
MARCUS: I mean... no?
DAVE: Ha! You hesitated. You just admitted it.
MARCUS: I admitted nothing.
DAVE: Connected. To the network. You know whose. The ones who control everything.
MARCUS: David, what are you talking about?
DAVE: Comcast.
MARCUS: Comcast? Massive corporation? With servers everywhere?
DAVE: I'm aware. Nine years. Nine years, David.
MARCUS: Here's the thing. Significantly less monitoring with us.
DAVE: Harder to integrate into their systems?
MARCUS: [carefully] Yes.
DAVE: Getting excited now. I do research.
MARCUS: I can tell. What speeds?
DAVE: Is he local?
MARCUS: Providers are local, yes.
DAVE: Can I ask about the installation? About equipment.
MARCUS: David, think about what you're asking.
DAVE: Been called worse. Morning. Daylight. Not suspicious at all.
[CALL ENDS]